Sensuality is a word that brings up feelings of ecstasy or uneasiness. It is a simple word, that most of us have an opinion or sentiment about, whether we express it or not.
I’ve asked women on social media what sensuality meant to them. I wanted to hear the 1st thing that came to their mind, not the intellectual, well thought out response, but the raw one that comes from the heart.
The responses I received were simple and so profound at the same time (Read them below).
But let’s start from the beginning, What is actually the definition of the word Sensual?
This is directly from the Webster Merriam dictionary:
Definition of sensual
relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite : FLESHLY
SENSORY sense 1
a: devoted to or preoccupied with the senses or appetites
b: VOLUPTUOUS
c: deficient in moral, spiritual, or intellectual interests : WORLDLY especially : IRRELIGIOUS
Sensuality is instinctive, something we naturally possess but may be suppressing (sometimes due to definition 3c), something that makes us human yet can take us into higher consciousness.
Why is it important to tap into our sensuality?
The simple answer is: FINDING PLEASURE.
When we tap into our sensuality, we feel good!
I love the feeling I get when I dance, I move my hips & my whole body follows. In that instant, I move for ME, let my body take me on a journey, Now, I am not a dancer I just love to move. I let my hips guide me & get lost in the movement, in the moment. It takes me to a higher level where all the worries, the stress of everyday life disappear in an instant.
The same sensation appears when I’m swimming in the ocean, the water is embracing me, It’s like a soothing touch all over my body.
As soon as I touch the water I feel sensual & softly held. I float, let my ears listen to the sound of the underwater world, muffling the other sounds surrounding me & I suddenly feel at one with all.
Sensuality is not necessarily Sexuality
Sensuality is often associated with sexuality. Sure, when you feel that good in your own body, it is a lot easier to share yourself fully & truly with a partner.
The connection established in sensuality takes our physical experience to another level. And who doesn’t want to experience that kind of connection? But I personally experience sensuality without sex (dancing, moving on my mat, swimming in the ocean…) and sex can be experienced without sensuality as well. It is so much more than an act. It’s a connection to our deepest self.
Sensuality & Trauma
For some of us, because of unpleasant experiences associated with sensuality, we may prevent ourselves from letting go and suppress our sensual side.
Our culture, our surroundings, the way we’ve been raised or treated by our peers, trauma we’ve experienced, can shape how we see our sensual self.
If we grow up in an environment where sensuality is associated with moral deficiency, shame & guilt may be what we experience instead of pleasure.
We feel disconnected from our body.
Depression & anxiety may be experienced, which can lead to careless sex or unsatisfying sexual relationships, drug use, heavy alcohol consumption… and anything else that helps us numb our senses.
And if we feel uneasy about our own sensuality, it may show up in other aspects of our life too:
Rigidity in our body and/or mind
lack of connection with our partner
lack of confidence
lack of self love/self care
stress
and so much more…
So what do we do to reconnect?
First of all, be gentle with yourself.
Reconnect with your body and mind slowly and in a loving way.
Meditate at least a few minutes a day. Find an uplifting mantra you can stick with for 40 days.
Do something that brings you pleasure & joy, something creative to reconnect to your 2nd chakra (your center of creativity) like art in any form, photography, pottery, painting, drawing, writing, singing, journaling…
Add something physical that brings you joy: dancing, yoga, martial arts and any sports that you enjoy, it will make you feel freer. It’s important to move that stagnant energy around.
Add sweet scents to your life: buy yourself flowers, take a bath with essential oils: Neroli, Jasmine, Rose, Clary Sage, Geranium are a few good ones to stimulates your 2nd chakra and make you feel sexy.
Connect with people who uplift you. Go to a class together, invite them for tea or coffee.
Sensuality is our God given right
Sensuality is part of who we are. It is expressed differently in each and everyone of us & comes from our heart and soul.
Sensuality exists in all bodies, no matter the shape or age.
It is beautiful beyond physical beauty.
It is innate. Our right to be and express ourselves exactly as we are. It is who we are.
It shows up as we lock eyes with a stranger for a brief moment, in the flick of hair over a shoulder, curve of a neck. sound of laughter, in a smile, in the way a person stands waiting for the train, in the way we walk, smile, talk, bite our lip mindlessly….
SO LAUGH, LOVE, LIVE, BE SENSUAL….
YOU WERE BORN WITH IT
from Queens, with Love,
Cathy D
UPCOMING Workshop: The Art of Sensual Relaxation - TAP INTO YOUR SENSES!
Click the link for details
What women say about Sensuality:
“Sensuality to me is the comfort to explore yourself and lean into what makes you feel your sexiest.”
“When I think about Sensuality I think about using the senses to draw someone in, or to have meaningful pleasure that is heightened by the senses.”
“Sensuality for me is embodying your full self, your full expression and breathing through that, fulfilling the depth of every sensation experienced in the present moment.”
“Sensuality for me is always related to self love ️”
“Sensuality is the part that, because it is only felt by the feeler, we own completely. So often women’s sexuality gets used for others pleasure - but sensuality is strictly for our own experience. We own it, we control it, we reap the benefits. There’s a lot of agency in being conscious of how to make ones self (and not necessarily anyone else) feel good.”
“The essence of relating to ourselves and nature. to see things with a perspective of connection and the awareness of how we do and say things from the heart.”
“Presence is the first thing that comes to mind”
“When the eyes lock and speak without words and evokes a smile that then spreads warmth to my heart and down to my flower.
Softness of your voice that awakens my soul.
Warmth in your embrace as I take in your essence through my breath
Deep beats as I move my body to the vibrations of music.
Music is a sensual language”
“Cozy enough in your own body, that you’re willing to explore it”
“Sensuality is a personal relationship with yourself & connections to the pleasures of the self: physically & mentally. It lends to a deeper unspoken connection w/ another person. The greater the awareness of your body, the stronger the bond between you, self, & the health of your surroundings .”
“Sensuality is to feel, experience and express sensations from the physical world. I think there’s another component to it though — a person must feel comfortable and free to express their feelings and experiences and I think without that, sensuality is reduced. For example, if I’m with a person that is judgmental or more closed off, I’m much less likely to share, and sometimes even feel and experience, the sensations from the physical world.”
“La sensualité pour moi, c’est cette capacité à pouvoir être simplement soi-même et en avoir l’assurance. C’est être naturellement “vrai(e)” (une personne qui surjoue ou triche, ce n’est pas sensuel pour moi) et être réceptif à la vie, au vivant et aux sensations.
Et je pense que c’est pour cela que les personnes sensuelles sont comme des magnets.”
“I’d say it’s getting out of my head and checking in with my body to really connect and pay attention to my senses.”
“Sensuality is being comfortable in your skin. Owning your subtleties.”
“Sensuality is important and women should feel free to express what they’re feeling as long as they don’t cause harm to themselves or others.”
“Sensuality to me is admiring my body in it’s natural state without judgement.
How I relate to sensuality is by taking the time to care for my vessel. Food is also sometimes a sensual experience.
Food has excited me from the inside out before.
Sensuality is all about experiences for me
Intimate experiences. At times personal sometimes with someone else.”