Love is probably one of the more popular subjects we write about, especially as we approach Valentine’s Day.
We are bombarded with messages of what to buy our lover and rating how much we are loved from the gifts we receive.
It feels that if we are not receiving flowers, jewelry, chocolates, a sweet card, or taken out to dinner on V-Day, we are not worthy of love.
Well, I am here to tell you:
You are worthy!
It may be difficult at times to accept our worth, possibly because we are surrounded by a social media culture that sends us visual images of what beauty & self-worth are supposed to be like, viewed through filters, ephemeral moments, and glimpses of what life could be if only we were… or we had…(fill in the blanks)
It gives us a distorted image of what we should look & be like to be loved or deserve love.
That’s because we look outside ourselves instead of looking in.
You probably have heard that to receive, you must be willing to give.
Maybe you already do and offer a loving hand to everyone you meet.
But, are you giving yourself Love?
What is Self-Love?
self-love
/ˈˌself ˈləv/
noun
regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).
Definition from: Oxford Languages Dictionary
Self-love means:
Accepting yourself as you are in this very moment.
Talking to yourself with kindness, softness, and respect,
Nurturing your growth and wellbeing without sacrificing your physical or mental health to please others.
Giving our body the nurturing, rest, exercise, and comfort it needs.
Not settling for less than you deserve.
Putting yourself first. (oxygen mask on before you attend to others).
And so much more…
What does self-love mean to you?
What does self-love look like?
Well, it is unique to you.
It doesn’t have to look a particular way.
It fuels you, brings you confidence, makes you resilient, and allows you to shine brightly!
It gives you the courage to explore, experience life in your own way, and step forward to meet your destiny.
Ten ways to cultivate self-love
Practice Saying Positive Things To Yourself Every Day.
Talk to yourself with love and compassion as if you were talking to your best friend.
Take a break from self-judgment.
Look at yourself in the mirror and say: (insert your name), I love you. Set a timer, start with 20 seconds, add 10 seconds every day until you reach a minute. Practice it every day for 60 days.Be Compassionate Towards Yourself.
You will slip up. It is part of being human. So when you tell yourself, “Cathy, you’re so stupid, I can’t believe you did that., AGAIN” or whatever less than kind words you use that pop into your mind, apply compassion. Concentrate on what you have learned instead of the mistake itself.
Mistakes are what allow us to grow.Set Healthy Boundaries.
Choose yourself over pleasing others, even if it means disappointing your friends or loved ones.Nourish Your Body & Mind With Loving Food.
Eat to feed yourself healthily and allow yourself sometimes to indulge.
And healthily feeding yourself means also paying attention to what you consume through all your senses. Pay attention to what you watch on TV, read and listen to, and feed yourself what you need to thrive.Ask For Help
You do not have to do it alone. When you feel overwhelmed, or before you start feeling overwhelmed, reach out to a co-worker, a friend, a mentor, whoever can help you with your task or issue. Lighten your load. There is power in collaboration. And connecting with like-minded people feeds our heart.Celebrate Your Small Victories Instead Of Brushing Them Off As Unimportant
These small victories are part of your journey and allow you to get to the top.
Each step up the ladder matters; each celebration gets you closer to your destination.Trust Yourself
Listen to your body and your intuition.
When you feel like staying in instead of going out because it serves you better, embrace it.
When you want to go for a walk in nature or on the beach to clear your head, although you have a deadline to meet, take that walk. Clearing your head will help you at the end.
You already know what you need; honor yourself.Allow Yourself To Feel
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, anxious, outraged… there is nothing wrong with you.
You are simply being beautifully human. Acknowledging our range of emotions is necessary to love ourselves fully. Hold space for yourself. Give yourself what you need.
A good cry is often a great release so we can move forward.Indulge In Self-Care
Book a massage, get your nails and hair done, schedule a therapy session, acupuncture, plan a trip in the desert, mountain or beach.
Whatever makes you feel luxurious, do more of that!Do Something Every Day That Makes You Feel Good
Schedule it on your calendar and make it a priority.
Examples of fun things to do:Move your body
Schedule dance breaks,
Meditate,
Walk through the city streets, on the beach, or in a park.
Play in the snow,
Sing out loud,
Listen to your favorite song,
Catch up with your BFF,
Make plans with friends,
Insert YOUR Fun Thing Here.
To practice self-love, start with one of the above suggestions that speak to you.
Infuse self-love slowly in everything you do.
Watch your world change!
If you’re feeling anxious about applying self-love in your daily life, come to my Yoga Nidra Bliss workshop on February 12th.
We will explore how to release what gets in the way of loving ourselves fully while relaxing our bodies deeply as we follow a profound guided meditation.
Click below for more details:
A few more quotes about Self-Love - because we’re worth it!